Really, it is.
You’re now in a phase of life where time, money, and energy are finite resources. It takes all three of things to be cool.
Hell, it takes all of those things for most people to just function without being remotely close to cool.
Clothes feeling old? Oh well. You’re the only one who notices.
Haven’t stayed up on the trendiest upcoming bands? Who cares. There’s plenty of good music you already know.
Stressed out because your childless friends are having a blast on instagram? Don’t be. They don’t have kids to care for and can fuck off.
But I get it. You miss feeling relevant. Not so long ago you were the one telling everyone about the opener with less than 50,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. You had outfits for all occasions that you looked forward to getting compliments on. You spoke like an authority on many things, even if you were full of shit.
Now you put on stained sweatpants and a backwards hat to cover up the cow lick that you didn’t have time to wet down. You still listen to the same 10 bands you were 5 years ago, and when someone asks what you’ve been up to, you draw a blank because it all kinda feels like Groundhog Day.
And ya know what? That’s perfectly fine. Most people don’t care or notice how uncool you are anyways. As long as you’re genuine and polite, people still like you.
I’m not saying you have to be a frumpy idiot until your kids go to college, but I am saying you don’t have to worry about how you’re seen by others as much as you think you do. You’re a dad now, and the people who matter get that.
Some of my best (DINK) friends are cool as hell, but they don’t give a shit that I’m not. Sure, I should probably change outta the sticky sweatpants before going to lunch with them, but if I don’t, eh, no biggie. We all went through COVID. People are more forgiving now.
So let go. Stop forcing it. You’re in a phase of life that’s not conducive to being cool. Cool people suck ass a lot of the time anyways. Remember the popular kids? Shitty fuckheads.
Being genuine while wearing sticky sweatpants and confidentially being yourself takes way less effort but way more confidence than dressing well and matching your personality to your aesthetic.
So chill on the cool bit. Nobody cares but you.